Hello dear friends,
I´m back – with good news and a brand-new own English section. I decided to do an all English section this time which is the same articles like in the „Master“ (German) one. So I guess it will be easier now to follow. 🙂
Sometimes things just work out. You dream and hope and in the end you don´t even really believe anymore that I could be possible. Just to realized that in the end it all worked out.
That´s what happend to me and my applications for a Master in Sweden. After a crazy post-Erasmus-time, that cost me insanely much energy, I decided to try to move back to Sweden. Well, here we go – here´s (almost) the whole story:
An identity crisis.
Oh yeah, those students. Not prepared for life, pampered and sheltered. Naive and purposeless and then going for an Erasmus semester. Where they have everything organized for them and party all day. Just to end up in a post-Erasmus-depression afterwards. Sissy youngsters.
That´s more or less what you are told by society. We purposeless and aimless people in our mid-twenties. lllusionists.
No, I didn´t want to say I went through a post-Erasmus-depression altough for sure I was melancholically going through old picture and reassuring my friends we would sure meet soon again – somewhere somewhen. Just like everybody. To be honest living in another country and going through all those challenges and adventures did way more to me – both easy and nice things as well as things that were quite hard to go through and overcome. But that I will maybe explain in detail sometime later. It hasn´t been the most easy time for me. However, I can say for sure that I´m incredibly thankful for having been forced to deal with myself and all the challenges to come with that.
The crisis. Now for real. Along with the overwhelming feelings I was left with after my Erasmus semster came another feeling that I am already old friends with. Doubt. Did my studies make sense at all? What would I be doing afterwards? Would I find something that I could really be happy with? This time the feeling hit really me hard since my Bachelor was fast coming to an end and time started to run through my fingers. Reality suddenly started to knock on my door and I just couldn´t ignore it anymore.
And now? Work? Study? Find a Trainee programme? On top I wasn´t really happy with my choice of my study field at that time cause I felt like I missed out on something and could have found something more suitable. I really was in need of a good alternative.
Working: yeah. nice. Would mean I could afford more than pasta on a regular basis. And then? Work for the next 50 years? Or longer…? Who knows. The mid-twenty-unicorn-worldpeace-dreamer inside my head starts to rebel. No. Too early. Still too young for this. Need to see and conquer the world. You know what I mean. Who needs more than pasta in life anyways.
So a Master it is. Actually I am a very ambitious person and love to learn new things – so that was kind of a good argument for studies, too. But what and where?
Conquering new old frontiers.
Communications didn´t seem like the end of the story anymore. Don´t get me wrong, I still love to communicate in any way and think it´s one of the most important skills in modern times. However, a career in the intern corporate communication of a mid-sized company had never really been my idea of life ( – no offense).
Now what: Web developement? Law – maybe international? Start a career as an engineer? Or finally go for human medicine? Reality was showing up again, knocking on my door and telling me to shut the f*** up and focus on my real life.
Right she was. So I was going back into myself asking me all those question about what I loved to do and what I´m really interessted in. A never ending inner crisis. Again and again.
Finally I decided to just follow my feelings and apply for a Master in Sweden. I almost missed out on the application deadline since it had taken me so long to make up my mind. But in the end I made it. And after three endless months of waiting and more doubts I was shocked when I got the notice that I really was accepted. And then again when I realized that it would be impossible to find a flat in Gothenburg. And then again when I realized how incredibly happy I was to move back. I´m not gonna be an astronaut. No engineer and no doctor and no Lama-farmer (yes that had made it to the list for quite a while). It looks like I´ll find myself somewhere in the field of international relations of states. Communicative and political.
The mind thinks big and allows itself to dream. Reality is finally nodding proudly and is happy that some decision had been made. And what will happen in future can´t be forseen anyways.
But I guess my nearer future I will spend in the most beautiful and cool city of Sweden: Göteborg. Starting off in summer. Of cause I´ll share all adventures here – so I hope we´ll read us soon 😉